She'll Never Fade
by Ella-san
Summary: KandaxOC LavixOC Please read pilot chapter for more info.
1. Pilot

Disclaimer: I do not own DGM or any of its characters, they belong to Hoshino-sama whom I hope updates this story soon.

WARNING! If you are not a fan of OC's or OCxKanda then hit the back button, and scram. For the rest of you, please, do continue.

* * *

Imagine, for a moment, that there was never any war. No secrets, no hate. I like to imagine this feeling all the time. It gives me a hope that things might actually return to peace, but for now, I have been predestined as a soldier in the army against the Earl of the Millennium. Yes, I know, it's all just a bedtime story, told by your parents to help you get over the death of friend or family. If that's what you truly believe, then leave this right now, and never give it a second thought. If you think otherwise, then continue. My name is Amarante Kameko. I host the Innocence Mi Tai. This, is my story. For a while, I just thought I was cursed, like Allen-san. But now, I know that I was born for this. It starts with me, a lonely girl, living for herself to redeem a sin too great to forgive. To take revenge on a sinner who hurt me. With the help of the Order, I learned that this is all a nightmare that I took on to help you kids, sleep soundly at night. And my little boy Trevor. But I'll get to that. For now, you have been warned.

Untill next time,

Kameko

* * *

Ella: Hi there, every one. This is my Pilot chapter, just here for more of..an intro and a taste of what my precious OC is like. Her name (if you were too dumb to figure it out) Is Amarante Kameko. She is Japanese and if you can tell me what her name means, I'll give you a prize. This is a fanfic for the sake of Kanda. I promise I'll try not to screw up his character, but as we all know, each person has to...bend a little to allow for this. If you have any suggestions, please do share and I'll think about it. And comments and ways you think I can improve in the later chapters, do tell. I'm open to ideas. Now, as we all now, standards ust be made. Five reviews and I'll post the next chapter. Tell your friends about this and I'll love you forever. Now, I want to reassure you that I won't make the whole plot line of this beloved manga go to pot as best I can. I'll try to include chapters from the actual manga if I can at all. Any sugestions, just PM me or leave a comment. I'll update as often as I can, I promise. Now that I have done something for you, readers, please do something for me? Tell everyone about this. I beg of you. Well, I think that's it for now. I'll update soon.


	2. Chapter 1 The Girl With The Muddled Past

Chapter 1: The Girl With The Muddled Past

A thud sounded in the night, followed by an explosion showing a temporary day. A small girl hit the ground with a groan. She rolled on her side, coughing due to fumes that spilled around her.

"Gotta be ore careful, don't you Exorcist scum?" Came the shrill voice of an Akuma, who stood over a girl, poised to kill. It let out a peal of mechanical laughter.

"Exorcist? Ha, not quite." A flash of white light came from the girl's arms and daggers formed in her slim-fingered hands.

"You dirty little pest!" The voice squealed, and the Akuma reared back for a moment, about to punch.

"Give my regards to your precious Earl," she smirked, then cut the beast in front of her.

It fell to the ground with a thud, where she had lay a moment before. At the last minute, she had rolled out of the way and now had her back on the soft, wet grass. Her amethyst eyes lifted to the sky above her, moon face staring back. She huffed out a breath, white in the cold night and relaxed her muscles, pushing brown hair from her pale face.

"And good riddance," she muttered. Something moved in the bushes behind her. She looked for the source of the noise, again on high alert.

"Ouch!" Cried a voice: male and young.

"Shut up, or she'll hear!" Hissed a second voice: also male and young.

"But it hurt," the first whined.

"Quiet, baka!"

The girl slowly stood, not making a sound, and circled around the trees that surrounded the small clearing. Finally, she stood behind a bush that rustled every few minutes, daggers in hand. Shadows covered her, only the light from the silver moon could expose her.

"Wait, where'd she go?" The first voice asked.

"Right behind you," the girl answered, cutting the hedges aside in a swift motion, leaving two men, clad in black, exposed. Wait, not men, _boys_. Boys_ her_ age.

"EEEP!" The red head cried in fright. He was the first voice that she had heard.

"Quiet!" Demanded the second, glaring at his partner.

"What do you two want?" The girl demanded, absorbing her daggers and placing her hands on her hips.

A heavy silence fell.

"You'd better tell me before I mistake you two for Akuma, and accidentally kill you." She said in a deadly tone.

"We...uh...we're-" the red head stuttered.

"We're from the Black Order." The second clarified and stood.

He was a head taller than her, long black hair that was tied back. His eyes were slanted and a piercing blue that were half hidden by black bangs that had been even at one point, but had been let go. In short, he was handsome.

"The Order, huh?" She snorted. "I was warned that you guys would come and get me eventually." She shook her head.

The other boy had recovered by now and stood as well. She quickly observed hi in the dim light: One green eye that was friendly but guarded, the other covered by a patch. He was cute in a bouncy-childlike way.

"What did you say your names were?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm Lavi Bookan," the red head supplied. "We're here to-"

"Retrieve the Innocence." The other interrupted impatiently.

"Nice to meet you too," the girl pursed her lips, looking at him condescendingly.

"And you are...?" Lavi looked at her carefully.

"Kameko. Amarante Kameko." She replied.

"That sounds Japanese."

"It is." Amarante replied. "I was born in Japan, orphaned twice, and then adopted by a rich American family"

"Kanda here is from Japan too." Lavi fondly patted his partner on the shoulder.

Amarante drew in a sharp breath and her eyes widened. But neither noticed, because Kanda was yelling at Lavi.

"You baka! Get off of me!"

"Come on Yu, be nice to the young lady."

"Young lady? She's ore like a little kid!" Kanda retorted.

This brought Amarante out of her reverie and not in a very pleasant way.

"Kid?" Her hands balled into fists, her whole body shook with anger. "I'm your age! I bet I've been through just as much as you!"

"As if!" Kanda shot back.

Lavi carefully studied this girl. How she reacted, what she said, how she moved, all these details caught his attention. She didn't look familiar, but how she functioned did. Like someone he knew...

" Bring it on!" she cried, bringing out her daggers.

"Right," Kanda snorted, "like you can fight me with those. That's a very funny joke, pipsqueak."

"You have a sword." She pointed out. "Or are you not fighting me because you're too scared you'll lose to a girl."

"I've been training since I was nine." Kanda smirked.

"I have been since I was four!"

"So you think you're a match?"

"I know I am." Her voice took on that deadly tone again.

They glared at each other. Azure eyes met amethyst. They stood like that, Amarante poised to pounce, Kanda relaxed and serene, and moments passed without a sound made. Amarante's eyes flashed and then she relaxed her stance. As if someone were telling her to back off. Lavi watched intently.

"I don't have time for childish games," Amarante ground out, almost as if she regretted saying the words. "I need to go home. And as for the Innocence, it's mine. If you want it, you'll have to take me too. But I don't go anywhere I don't want to very easily."

She turned on her heel and started to stride away with an air of authority. Something caught her elbow and she turned so see what it was. A hand, pale in the moon light and it belonged to Lavi. She looked up in his eye and saw concern and awe.

"Why don't we take this somewhere and talk it through, okay?" His single emerald eye was somber and deep. Be hind his mask of a bouncy-cheeky child was an intelligence that led to forever.

"Fine. Follow me." She jerked her arm away and began walking again.

After trekking uphill for a while, they managed to hitchhike a ride on a wagon.

* * *

The ride was silent. I kept my gaze off the others. I felt a pull from one that was just begging to learn. The other had a slight pull that wasn't his own, but something else. I was desperate to look in their minds and see what was there. I tried to refrain and did well. The wind was a good distraction. It pulled through my hair, making it flutter over my face and down my back. I smiled to myself and forgot my worries for a moment. After we got off the wagon, I thanked the driver and we made our way to a small farmhouse. It was big and white, but no animals unlike our neighbors. It was tucked away in the trees, no lights on inside, save one.

"Damn," I cursed. "Someone got in again."

I ran to the house, the other two trailing behind. I motioned for them to be silent and we made our way up the stairs to a room with the door ajar. It was my brother's room. I formed my daggers in my hands, opened the door, and tackled the room's occupant to the ground.

"Ack!" They cried as I hit their chest and reared back a fist.

"Stupid Akuma!" The person under me put up a fight so it was hard to find an opening.

"Amarante! It's me!" They rasped. I looked down into Rami's familiar eyes.

"Rami! You're back!" I dropped my weapons and hugged him giggling.

"Nice to see you too, sissy," he half hugged me back and sat up halfway. We stood and looked at the other two occupants. "So, who are your friends?"

"Friends?" I snorted, "more like stalker fiends. They've been following me around for a few days now." I folded my arms over my chest and leaned my hip against Rami's dresser. Rami looked the two boys over and took a step forward.

"You've been following my sister?" He asked. I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

"Calm down, Rami." I said.

"We're Exorcists. We came to retrieve the Innocence and she carries it." Lavi interjected.

"What?" Rami looked at me in bewilderment. "You can't go!" He grabbed my shoulders in desperation. "You have a life here. I know Mom and everyone else don't really connect with you but-"

"I never said I was going." I interrupted. "I'm staying here with you."

"Okay...okay," he released me. "Come on, lets get them some food."

* * *

We sat down at a table in the kitchen and Rami served us a few bowls of leftover soup he was eating before we came in.

"It should still be warm, I only ate some fifteen minutes ago."

"Thanks, brother." I said between a few bites.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." He said in a joking tone, brow slightly furrowed. I grinned/sneered at him playfully. I was sitting close to him so he hit me with his shoulder.

"What, are we in kindergarten?" I asked, one brow raised.

"Maybe." He became serious again. "Are you hurt? I heard an explosion and some shouting."

"I'm fine, Rami. Promise." I looked back at my bowl of soup. "I just had to destroy another one, it had been close to killing again."

"We were about to get it," Kanda grumbled. I shot him a look. "Killing isn't the work for a twelve-year-old."

I looked at him in bewilderment, then glared.

"She isn't twelve," Rami interjected.

"No, I'm not. I'm, what, six months younger than you?" I glared.

"When _were_ you born anyway?" Rami looked at me quizzically.

"Technically or what the certificate says?"

"What are you guys _talking_ about?" Lavi asked.

Rami and I looked at each other, then at both of them. I sighed, stood, and walked to the little sink and washed my bowl out. "Nothing." I whispered.

* * *

She left and slammed a bedroom door behind her. Rami's face was worried and hurt at her reaction.

"She doesn't look at all like you," I said carefully, Kanda and I watching his reaction and waiting for and explanation.

"She isn't," Rami admitted with a sigh and ran a hand through his tousled brown hair. "We adopted her from Japan when she was seven. Amarante lived in a small village and was orphaned when her other died. Her father had died earlier at sea and her mother in a storm. Amarante was three. We're not even sure that was her real mother."

"It wasn't." Came her voice, dark with anger and disgust that she had harbored for years. A tear rolled down her cheek, but her bangs covered her eyes, so it was hard to read her face.

"Mante I-"

"No." She cut Rami off. "You've started this, I'm finishing it. My real mother abandoned me, as a baby, because I was a freak. The woman who raised me, cared for me, loved me...she found me in the mud in a bundle. She couldn't have kids. God have mercy on the orphan child."

"You don't know that," Rami started again, standing and taking a step towards her. "You don't know that, Mante."

"I do!" Her head snapped up, tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked pitiful. "I heard it in her mind, I remember seeing it in her face! And do you know why? This. This is why." She jerked up the sleeves to her shirt and revealed her wrists. Black tattoos covered her forearms in a flame-like pattern, stopping below her elbows. Then she knelt and rolled up a pants leg. From ankle to mid calf was covered in the same design.

"I was always a freak, the orphanage, the town, anywhere I went. I wore black dresses in case someone saw, then it looked like a sleeve instead of a marking. Anytime I could escape for a day, I would. I was found crying by this elderly woman who acted as my mother figure. She taught me herbs and medicines and other things. One day I was headed to see her with a basket of fruits I'd bought with some money I'd saved. When I got there, I was too late. She died, but of course it wasn't natural, hell no. Akuma got her."

She looked at me and Kanda, each in turn. Her gaze lingered on Kanda for a minute before she looked back at her arms.

"A few months afterwards, they adopted me. Even now, Rami is all I have left. His whole family hates me," she sobbed.

"Come on sissy," Rami knelt beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and helping her to her feet.

* * *

Ella: There. New Chapter. Let me know how you feel about it, if it makes sense, all that good stuff. Thank you to kate4394, Brigette Janine, Skye Leiko, strawberrypocky-chan, and Lathya for reviewing. Cookies for all :3

Lavi: I'm surprised anyone did...

Ella: -deadly tone- 'Sceuse me? Did you say something?

Lavi: Nope, not at all. -sweatdrop-

Ella: That's what I thought. Now, please review if you don't mind. I like feedback. It makes me happy. Five reviews, that's all I ask.


	3. Chapter 2: ConfessionsIt's My Life

Ella: Hello again. New chapter. I woke up the morning after I posted the last one and thought 'surely nobody's posted anything- HOLY CRAP!' and saw five new reviews. So, this is my gift to you. I'm trying to draw out things for as long as I can, but this thing is going to be so long it's not even funny. I'm sorry about the spelling stuff but on my laptop the 'm' button hardly works anymore. It's old. As for other review, all shall be revealled in time.

Lavi: Yes, becuase you're so good at keeping secrets.

Ella: -steals Mugen- Come here, usagi. Let's see how you like being skinned.

Lavi: -runs and sweatdrops whilst screaming-

Amarante: -sighs and rubs temples- Please don't mind them. Just go on and read.

* * *

Chapter 2: Confessions/It's My Life

_Why did I say all that? What caused me to do that?_ I mentally hounded myself for being so stupid. I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. _And that-that...pull. What the heck is up with that anyways? I don't even know him. _I shivered at the thought. Ever since that night so many years ago, I couldn't stand men. Rami being the only exception. Thinking back to those awful hours, I nearly drowned in the darkness of it.

"No." I stopped myself, sitting up. "Don't think about it." I sighed. "Oh, who are you kidding, Mante. It happened."

"Mante?" Someone knocked at the door. "It's Rami."

"Oh, come in."

He opened the door carefully and stepped in. "Are you going to be okay? I know you don't like..."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked at him reassuringly and he sat down beside me, rubbing my back gently. "I'm fine," I repeated, more for myself than for him.

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure."

I wanted to hug him so bad, tell him everything was not okay, cry. But I refrained from doing so. I sighed and looked out the window that was beside my bed. The night was dark and hidden. I felt more at ease, but something wasn't right. I ignored it, thinking it was the unease I felt having two men in the house other than Rami.

"You need to get to bed." I exhaled and said aloud.

* * *

Punch, punch, kick, duck, kick.

Morning warm-ups are a joy to me. I could stay here in this moment forever and be perfectly content. But the unanswered questions and the replayed scene from last night angers me and I become blinded by a sudden rage. Something broke inside me and on the outside in the same instant. I blinked away the sudden hatred and looked up. My hand had gone through the practice dummy's head. I made an aggravated noise and tried to wrench my hand free. Without much luck. I finally pulled it free and almost landed another one when I heard a noise somewhere to the side. I looked over at a casual Lavi leaning against the side of the house watching me from the shadows.

"You know it's nice to say 'hi' or something to let me know you're there." I said and looked at my hand. Bloody knuckles, scraped fingers, but no broken bones. That's a plus.

"Hi." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Rami says to come in."

* * *

Bang.

Both teens looked at the house to see what was going on. Smoke filtered from a gaping wound in the roof.

"Rami!" Amarante shrieked and ran towards the house.

She slipped into the door noiselessly and looked around. Her bother lay on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. He caught sight of her and his brown eyes widened in fear and concern. He looked back further into the house at, what was guessed, and Akuma.

"Exorcist..." came it's mechanical voice, "Come out come out." It began laughing manically and a crash sounded from within. Lavi stepped in from behind, all traces of humor gone.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Rami's still alive They have his family." Amarante explained quickly and quietly, fumbling for the hem of her jacket and tugging it off with some difficulty.

"How do you know?" He looked at her, brow furrowed.

"Explain later. Stay out until...oh you'll know." She stepped out of the shadows and faced the Akuma. "You wanted something?"

"Aha! I've found you!" It was a...a bunny? With one evil grin!

"Good job," she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "I suppose you just happened to look there for me and I really did not just step out from there. Am I right?"

Further in the room sat a family. A father, a mother, and two daughters. More Level 2's guarded them and grinned down. They shook with fear, although something was off about their appearance... Amarante caught sight of a figure creeping down a set of stairs and Amarante felt that tug again. What was with that anyways? She caught his attention and motioned him to wait with subtle gestures.

"Where's the Innocence!" The Akuma cried, clearly angry.

"Aw, you're too late. Someone else already got it."

"Give it to me!"

"Sorry, no can do." She shook her head.

"I'll kill them! I'll kill them all!"

She shrugged casually, sliding her hands in her pockets. "Won't make much of a difference, now will it?"

"Are you willing to watch them die?"

"They're already dead. I can feel it in their presence, see it in their eyes. You can't fool me. I can see through your oh-so-thin facade and it won't work."

"Why you-"

"Bitch? Yeah, you aren't the first to tell me." She glanced at Kanda who smirked in a 'you bet you're right' way. She looked back at the Akuma and the group on the floor that were now morphing. She opened her hands and formed her daggers. "Just die already."

She killed the first Akuma with no trouble. The others entered the battle not to far after she had nearly destroyed the others. When all was said and done, she looked around and absorbed her daggers. Something moved in the kitchen and she turned, no longer in a killer's mode.

"Brother!" She ran for his now pale and cold body. He smiled up at her as she scooped him halfway in his arms, blood seeping through her clothes and staining her legs. "Please, please, please, please be okay." His whole side was bleeding, blood sticky and warm. "Does it hurt?" She choked on her own tears.

"No," He breathed. "I'm so cold, Mante."

"No Rami. Don't die. You're all I have left. Don't leave me." She felt pitiful and helpless, and wasn't too fond of that feeling.

Black stars spread over his body, the virus working quickly.

"I-I...love...you," he whispered before turning to ash that seeped into the blood as well.

* * *

Ella: And there you have it. A new chappie.

Amarante: Why is there a pull anyways?

Ella: You'll find out. Eventually.

Kanda: It better not have anything to do with me.

Amarante: No comment. -hugs pillow to chest- On another note, I'm doing my best to keep Kanda as non-jerkish as possibe. And still keep his character intact. I guess its hard being beautiful... -glances at said beautiful man-

Kanda: Don't even thing about it. -smirk-

Ella: -shrug- I'll live. Maybe in the next chapter I'll have you dress up like a girl. -mulls this over-

Amarante: Where did Lavi go...?

Ella: Well! That's all for now! Goodbye!


	4. Chapter 3: Imaginary

Ella: I am SOOOOO sorry for the delayed update. I was at Bible camp and was unable to work on it. Thank you so much for your patience with my lack of orginization. I've been really busy watching kids so my mother could go to new teacher training. I promise I'll try to make it up to you. Um anywyas, here's the new chappie. I kinda stole Scott Westerfeild's thing when he wrote The Last Days. All of the chapter titles were either songs or bands. It was a good idea. Anyways, here it is. Have fun.

Lavi: Is that possible with your almost S. King writing? O.o

Ella: Shut it Lavi. I might have you attacked my fanboys in the next chappie.

Lavi: e_e Please don't...

* * *

Chapter 3: Imaginary

The small trio walked silently in the chilly fall air towards a small light in the distance. Amarante led the way, never saying a word, only hugging herself tightly. Lavi and Kanda looked at each other for a moment then back at the girl. Why was she acting this way? It seemed that the Exorcists coming to collect her had something to do with it. She was blurting out things at times and at others saying nothing at all. Finally, in the distance, a white farmhouse could be seen as well as several lights on inside. The walk continued until they stood right on the porch. Amarante knocked once, loudly. A frail older woman came out with a small smile.

"Hello, Mante." she looked down at the small girl's clothes. "Oh my gosh, what happened?"

"I uh-"

"We had some trouble on the way up." Kanda interjected. Amarante looked at him quickly and nearly glared, but was too tired and empty to care.

"Oh, I see. And who are you two boys?" She eyed them suspiciously.

"Friends. From the market." Amarante mumbled. "They were helping me."

"Okay, why don't you all come in. The family's over and we were just about to eat. Are you guys hungry?"

"I am!" Lavi said with enthusiasm.

"I'm fine," Kanda and Amarante said at the same time. They glanced at each other, then away just as quick.

"Do you have clothes in that bag?" The woman nodded to the stuffed shoulder bag Amarante had with her. She nodded. "Alright. You go take a shower, and we'll take care of your friends."

A baby cried inside the house.

"Be quick, Trevor knows your here and will want you to hold him."

I stood there and let the hot water roll over my body. Images flashed in my mind, not my own, but those of a young boy. He stopped crying out as soon as I entered his mind, feeling or sensing my presence I would guess. Someone knocked on the door and I shut off the water and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Mante?"

"Yeah, I'm here." I looked out from behind the curtain. The frail old woman I called my grandmother stood there with my bag.

"I threw away your other clothes and thought you could use this."

"Thanks, Mammy."

She sat silently, holding the small boy closely to her chest as if letting go for a moment would kill either of them. I watched her most carefully, trying to figure out why she wasn't speaking. There went that Bookman instinct again. Maybe she felt so strained after all of the past two day's events. It is hard on a new Exorcist. The room was finally empty, and her eyes met mine.

"I am _not_ an Exorcist." She said with distinct hints of venom.

"Would you _stop that_?" I asked, covering my ears as if that would stop her. "It's really creepy." It was true. I tried not to sound rude, but she couldn't take the hint.

"Quit projecting your thoughts so loud." She replied and stood.

"Where are you going? The Earl-"

"Shh. You feel that?" Her eyes darted about the room carefully.

"No! But your about to!" Came the mechanical whir of an Akuma's voice, just as I was about to say 'feel what?'

"Crap! I can't take this!" She slashed her arm to one side and her dagger flew to her hand.

Six Akuma stood, towering above the two, a Level Two and five Level One's. The Two smiled in a disgusting manner and laughed. The One's looked trapped in a permanent state of screaming or moaning. A figure, Kanda, flew from somewhere and slashed two One's in half. Lavi took care of two more Level One's. One Akuma was missing. The level Two. Amarante looked about in a frightened way and Trevor cried out in fear in her arms.

"Behind you!" The Akuma cried and hit the girl in the back, sending her flying across the room with a sound of pain.

She absorbed her dagger, wrapped her arms around the bundle, and tried to break the fall with her body. She landed with a cry and rolled to a hard stop due to the wall. Another Akuma was sent through said wall, and chunks fell over her. She covered the baby's body with her own bruised and bleeding form. A piece of stone hit her square in the back and she grunted, nearly collapsing on the small boy.

"You're done! Hee hee!" Laughed the demon. "Now, give me the Innocence!"

"No." It came out as a cough of blood.

"Then you can feel my special ability!" The Akuma picked her up and wrapped hits large hand around her body. It looked at her with a mixture of glee and disgust. "I can tap into your thoughts and make your biggest fears appear before your eyes!"

"Heh," she coughed again. "That's funny. I can do that too." It's face contorted into a look of utter confusion. "But the only difference? I'm not an Akuma."

"You little pest!" It cried in anguish, for at the moment, she was blocking any attempts of the insight of her mind.

"Kaji Subeta!" She cried, producing two blood red chokotos. The Akuma dropped her and she landed with a thud, then killed it quickly. She absorbed the swords again, still in amazement, then snapped back to the moment. "Trevor!" She scurried over rubble and found the small bundle, picked it up, and checked the creature inside. He slept snugly against her and she exhaled in relief.

"Amarante!" Scurrying came from the other side of what was left of the room and house. Kanda appeared before her and she nearly let a sob escape her lips. Lavi appeared behind him, panting.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She only nodded.

* * *

Ella: So, there it is.

Lavi: You would never do fanboys. You don't have the guts.

Kanda: Yes she does. ~Amarante nods~

Ella: Don't test me boy...

Allen: When do Lenalee and I get to show up?

Ella: The next chapter. So, untill then, ta ta!

Narrator: This chapter has been brought to you by...the Bad Spellers of the World Association. Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! A donation of seven reviews please...


	5. FALSE ALARM PLEASE READ

Okay, followers. Here's how this goes:

This story is on hiatus for a little while.

I'm terribly sorry. I'll post here and there but there are two reasons for this. Reason 1: School work. My Mom got her new teaching job, leaving a lot on me since I'm the oldest of four children. I've been trying reall really her to keep this up but there's something else preventing me, which brings us to Reason 2: the manga itself. With what Hoshino-san has done, I can really figure out what to do. I've been working on this fanfiction for two years, never even thinking about this. Which has turned out to be a thorn in my side.

Now that Kanda has decided to go completely out of character- more so that any fanfiction author's can do (and trust me, I've read some doozies) but they were always kept in perspective- and has run off into the sunset (metaphorically speaking of course) with dear little Alma, It's hard. All of us with OC's are scratching our head thing 'what the hell are we gonna do next?' while the universe and Hoshino are laughing at us. I've always joked with my friends (and I quote) that 'if Kanda ever got together with someone, fangirls the world over would burn their books, whilst dancing around the flames and chanting curses on everyone'.

...

Yeah...never saw it coming.

So with all due respect (I love my reviewers so very much, you guys don't even know) I have to stop, and see where this is going. Maybe I can do someminor things sometimes, but until this is sorted...well...I'm terribly sorry. I feel like a piece of me has died because Amarante can't go anywhere right now. I've worked so hard on her! You guys would have loved her. No! I sound like she's already dead, and she isn't! GAH! Must...stop...morbid...thoughts...!

Anyways, I am so so so so so so so sorry. To all of you. Please please PLEASE try and understand. I'm trying too.

One last thing:

CURSE YOU UNIVERSE AND YOUR LAUGHTER!


End file.
